111. Born Before Time (111)

You have removed the people from my life.
Do you have a purpose? For I know not what...
Your messages comes from all forms of media,
Within nature from the trees, to the clouds
And numbers to the tone in my ears.
I imagine my dreams, of a new location,
The new friends I will meet to the potential blessings repeat.

Each morning I arise, each dusk I retire...
From the shortened days as the Divine requires.
I am semi-alone with my ghosts...
With only my thoughts and no one-job hopes proposed.

I keep busy with brain gymnastics, 'bettering myself'...
One course after another, forgetting them once endeavoured.
Knowing with retirement is just around the corner.
As a human, I kid myself,
Will I depart before as I see the emergence and effects,
From the political arena?
Or will I step in to the role, chosen by my Saviour or my shadow...?

I am told to have faith, this is written on the walls of my soul,
Trust in The Divine timings, the clock still ticks...
The sand is motionless, like the hands holding the hour.
And I am getting older...

With old age more challenges emerge,
One's health can be quite the curse!
You say you know me, from before time...
You know we will suffer, during our mortal lifetime.

I can see, One toils to remove out the chaff and weeds...
Are we not slaves when we meet in heaven, are we?
You are jealous, this has been said...
From your own words on paper that is imprinted in our heads.
Is this right? Are you jealous, knowing this is destructive,
Harmful, as is rage, uncontrollable 'beyond redemption'
I as in human, to repent dare, I question?

What changes do I see, from the carrot and the stick?
A faithful monopoly with faith being the carrot and the stick...
The irony, is I continue believing in this, a mistake?
My ghosts are still with me are in my head, my healing.
Without it I am in space... drifting.