57. Cloud Of Silent Witnesses (57)

Should I not despair when I seeketh my destiny?
I bow down and ask for your judgement…
For, if one has no purpose, one has no life.
I humbly ask for my sentence to end.
I witness others of my liking or stature.

Their glory, success and happiness
I have learned not to envy only to embrace.
I witness their trivial participation, greed , moral defecation
And pause, reflecting my efforts
Only to be confronted by a meagre response
And to be noticed not or slightly for my dedication by my own kind…

Let me call on Angiras and ask, what lairs doth Dohel set?
I seeketh the keys for the garden of peace
As, I sense I have suffered by the hand of Dommiel.

Angiras, send me Uriel that planted the seed and now watches me!
Uriel, I see stands close to unlock the gates,
The gates of Hell upon Judgement Day.
Serapiel whom is glorified, your leadership is now sought
For thou giveth guidance upon this hour; upon this day.

Who hath given me this veil of despair and discontent
Have I been abandoned?
Should I utter his name…..neh!
As this is like nectar to him, yet I cannot help myself.
A prison with a guilty verdict sentenced, even before my conception.

Am I guilty? For, what crimes in my mortal form
Or am I so naive?
Are my perception floored and my own eyes deceiving me?
If so, lay it at my feet, and I will weep until my soul is; cleansed.

What is more, hath I tasted sin? Not able to return or repent,
Or; known in what form proceeded me…
Was I, an Angel or a Demon possessed or the chosen…
Am I guilty? I know not, only by the judgement of others
Fear I have been cast-out, from the Seven Tiers.
I do not wish to join Harbonah or Zethar, and build the towers.
Only to meet my true Guardian
If they have not forsaken me!
Let my day convene at Arabot and be answerable to YHWH.
For thou, will know the verdict and my purpose.
With purpose…
Giving me a mortal life ...
And answers for my destiny.