TheParagon

He wore old tracksuit bottoms,
A cardigan that had stretched below his waist;
An old white vest under it,
That had seen better days.
With broken and split trainers,
He was unshaven and gaunt,
The trials and tribulations,
Read deep within his face and caught.
He slides his feet on the smooth floor,
As if an elderly finding pace
I could see he was going through a personal trial,
Was it to portray his disgrace?
His words few, detached.
As he stared into his minds abyss.
No one would believe by looking at him,
He was the same age, as me,
I wasn't sure, should I have seen him today?
To remember him as he was...
From school days and our youth,
Our drinking days, as buddies...
Holidays and the music genre we knew.

As a tradition when we met,
We would buy food from the local store.
I said I could do with the walk to the store and he replied:
"I can't walk the distances anymore..."
"Into the car," I said.
Even though to go a stones throw from the door...
He said I need to visit the surgery and there was a list,
Then we can shop at the store.
One task ended up as being much more...
"Otherwise, a trip by taxi, will cost ME... well; a lot!"
Friendship, has always been one sided...
And this a pattern, I had always forgot.
But, seeing him today, I decided,
Silence was for memories to take form,
And I opened the car door for him,
To the seat in silence he took.

During the shop, he needed to look,
Rat poison was his temporary brief.
Pests I said?
There was no reply or response I could see...
"You need a licence, so not today,
Be strong with your destiny!"
"There is a path you had chosen to fulfil",
"From even before your first birthday".
"Even though you don't believe in the book or dwell,
I jested with him and he smiled once again,
Picking up loo rolls and chocolate spread.

When we arrived back, we unloaded the shop,
And prepared the curries he'd bought.
I looked around to see his true living conditions,
They were always straught ...
Grime on the surfaces, the ovens and doors,
The crockery and the appliances,
I proceeded to prepare the coffee cups,
For when they were needed.
After the meal we sat down on a sofa,
He lay on the coach and was quite aware...
We briefly discussed the politics of the day,
But not in depth as we disagree again.
He rubbed his knees, and then his eyes,
And he would fake, a fall to sleep...
Abruptly, he would open his eyes again;
And he would quickly breathe deeply in.

It suggested to me it was time to go;
And I said my goodbyes...
Knowing he welcomed the gesture.
Without the sad eyes...
As he would quickly arise to his feet once more
Quicker than I realised,
I said, "Keep in touch"!
I looked at him and he looked at me...
We stared into each others eyes...
We swopped our usual platitudes,
And then I began to depart the drive.

I journeyed home, dark in my thoughts,
I thought of him in his disguise.
I knew I was used today; as before,
Even though the veil lifted from my eyes.
He had chosen a side, years ago,
And he ridiculed me behind my back.
Whether it was fun for him or for him to fit in,
Those controlling were na ve...
Our circle of friends they were liberal then,
And my views remained on the other side.

Yes, I was a free spirit, not influenced
By those chosen with closed eyes...
I did not fit in, I trusted my soul to guide me within,
I didn't need wealth, only ideas for my life to control.
I trod my path, burdened and heavy, but true to myself,
I would give help where it was freely needed,
This gave me my hope...
I was used for transport,
Useful for burdening the costs,
This was part of my course.
They looked at me with jealousy and envy,
This was foreign to me but they forced...

I cried inside the tears for friendships,
Knowing I would be ignored.
Offering a light of hopefulness
I was told to dim my flame of course...
This was always difficult for me,
When I could see,
The writing always on the wall.
Those around me always disagreed with me,
As if the battle of will, on the desert plain.
I know their lessons will be learnt one day.
But will it be too late
For when it comes to judgement day?
Today, I was told, to walk away...